3 years later, an appearance from Chicago

I used to travel to Chicago quite a bit for work, so occasionally I’d try online dating there. Well, back in July 2014, I went on a date which was actually quite good, but the guy never called me back. Likely because he knew it wouldn’t work as I lived in a different state.

Regardless, today I get a completely unnecessary distraction when I receive this text convo:

The worst part about this was it completely distracted me for an hour or two. The best part is that I found an excel document I made of all the guys I dated in 2014 and it jogged my memory of who the guy was!

So let’s put this to a vote:

Creepy

Or

Sweet?

Maybe I’ll just feel flattered and forget about it. I’m curious about why he would do this, but let’s just hope we leave it here.

Love,

Anon

DC Annoys Me Briefly

The conference that DC and I had met at last year was this week, and lo and behold, on Instagram he posts a Throwback Thursday (#TBT) that is of a photo that I took of him and says “#tbt to that time I decided to sip the conference and have one oft he most unique experiences of my life.”

COUGH. Really?

I was the one that gave you that experience.

You chose to completely ignore me after I went out of my way to see you for your birthday.

You KNOW I follow you on Instagram (and I’m stubborn enough to not unfollow him).

And yet you decide to post that?

Really really annoying.

Sometimes you can’t help who you crushed on in the past.

Love, Anon

Just won’t leave me alone.

After 500 days, I hoped that it would be over, but in reality, nothing can ever be that simple.

During one particular weak moment I did meet up with him, but he said something to me that turned off a switch in me. He said “we’re both just having fun.” (Translation: No Strings Attached.)

Since that moment I have ignored him for months. In fact, after 3 texts from him, I deleted them all.

It’s a wonder that he had the audacity to say that to me (and me to cold shoulder him immediately) and think that we would continue the way we were.

No mister, no.

So this I truly ended my FWB run solidly back in 2013.

Ok, this is out of control: “Harvard Harvard” stupidly appears again.

Ok, months… MONTHS after HE broke it off with me, “Harvard Harvard” just tried to add me to LinkedIn.

That’s insane right?

Yes, I’m going to go with he’s out of his mind.

Trojan (Horse)

In early July I was connected with a nice looking guy on Coffee Meets Bagel. It was busy month for me. I was traveling to Chicago quite a bit and it was a struggle to schedule time for a date. So, because we had to push it so far back, I had lost momentum for being excited about the date, particularly on the day of the date.

So this is how I began my 1 week, 15 hour (5 hour each) fling with the Trojan (Horse).

Date 1: Monday

After a long day at the office, all I wanted to do was go home, put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt, and eat ice cream on my couch. I even said this to my boss.

Well instead, I went home, freshened up, and went to a cute speakeasy type bar and waited for the guy.

He arrived and we hit it off immediately. We talked everything from where we grew up, what we liked, travels, family. It just felt so comfortable. After 2 drinks, he asked if I wanted dinner and I agreed and so we went to get some food.

Oh, so I nicknamed him “Trojan” because he went to USC. Fitting for this tale.

Anyway, after a great meal at a casual and cozy hole in the wall, we go to look for a cab so I can head home. Unfortunately (or was it “fortunately”!?) I wasn’t able to find one so he asks if I wanted another drink. We go to a casual Mexican place where I got us some Lagunitas.

I left the date feeling pretty good about it. Especially when he messaged me for another date nearly immediately.

Date 2: Wednesday

So for the second date, I suggested that we go see Argo at Hudson River Flicks. I go home, change, pack some snacks, and then head over to the park. He had found a nice spot, so I laid out my blanket and we laid out chatting. The movie starts and it begins to get cold, so he’s trying to keep me warm. We end up going to dinner nearby, he wants to kill me because I’m walking around with a blanket around my shoulders (it was cold!) but he thought I “looked homeless.” (In retrospect: what a dick).

He ends up walking me all the way home and I don’t let him come upstairs, but he kisses me. Hm. That kiss was pretty bad… but maybe it was just a bad first kiss?

Date 3: Sunday

So for our third date, he suggested that we go to the High Line. He was new-ish to the city and hadn’t been yet. So we meet, walk through the High Line, stop in at a restaurant for him to grab a bite to eat (I had eaten earlier). Then we walked over to Chelsea Piers where he and I kissed (hmm… more on that later), then walked to the High Line Hotel to get coffee at Intelligentsia.

After that, he went home from 9th Ave and I walked home.

“Random” Run-in: Wednesday the week after

From then, I hadn’t heard from him in 3 days after the last date. I figured he had ghosted out on me. I did some snooping and saw that he may attend a happy hour on a hotel rooftop. I went. What happened? YES, I ran into him.

It was incredibly awkward. Again, in retrospect, I was the one that made it awkward. I pretended like I was hesitant to see him. I didn’t play it cool and just overall acted weird. I kind of wish I had played it off like whatever. I tried to message him to fix it, but it didn’t work. It was done.

Ok, but can you teach a guy how to kiss?

It’s a hard question. I have to wonder how many woman that “Trojan” had kissed. Had he ever gotten any feedback? I mean… open your mouth a little, um, get a little bit more moisture in there… like… that is a really really really bad kiss.

Good Riddance

3 dates, 15 hours total, 3 VERY BAD kisses… and 1 awkward run in at a hotel rooftop party, it was over. The whirlwind romance was over. He was a Trojan (Horse).

 

 

The Unlikely Playboy “Harvard Harvard” reappears

Big surprise. “Harvard Harvard” makes an appearance.

I got a Facebook message from him. I mean… ok. Sure? It was kind of long, I posted it here for your reading pleasure:

My friend convinced me to turn on my long dormant OKC account, and coincidentally, you showed up on my first page. In the least, I felt that was enough of a sign to say hello and wish you a happy new year. I do realize things didn’t exactly end awesomely back in September, but I wanted to say hi none the less. In most situations like that, you’d probably just think “what an jerk” and leave it at that. Understandable, and my only hope is that I didn’t cause too much stress or grief in the end. Definitely not the intention, in the least.

I had what you might call a “rough” holiday break, so I found that since I got back to the city I’ve really appreciated being able to keep in touch with friends, and even those that might not necessarily wanted to keep in touch with me. So, hi!

In any event, I hope things are going well with you. Perhaps we’ll bump into each other somewhere in Gramercy.

Oh damn.

First of all, he goes through this whole ego-trip thinking that he destroyed my life by breaking up with me… and then goes into how he has his rough holiday (did some investigating – his dad passed away suddenly – very sad, but I don’t know if it warranted reaching out to me).

He also sent me a message on OKCupid.

Um, please stop… please please stop.

Love,
Anon.

Vacant Girlfriend Position for the unlikely playboy – “Harvard Harvard”

I had a lot of great one liners for this one, but he took me for a bit of a spin because I was a little bit shocked when it came to an abrupt halt.

I had matched with him on Coffee Meets Bagel. The first guy that I had matched and spoken to in fact.

We set up our first date to go to Basta Pasta – which actually, now looking back at it, dinner dates for first dates are never a good idea. You really have no opportunity for an out.

Luckily, it turned out fine. He was a bit nerdy but we had quite a bit in common. The big red flag – with all Harvard men I’ve found – is when they drop the H-bomb early on. Not only did this one go to Harvard once, but he went to Harvard twice (undergrad and masters).

Well, we went on a few great dates, he even made me a copy of Jiro Dreams of Sushi. We walked around, we talked, I met his roommate briefly and managed to dig up zero dirt. Oh well.

Eventually we ended up on date #4.

Well, things were very off on date #4, but I am pretty good at reading the signs now: he was on the outs.

Soon thereafter I received an email – yes, AN EMAIL – from him that was a long paragraph and written slightly like a job opening rejection email. See below:

I wanted to apologize for things being a little off on Tuesday. I was hesitant to be too close cause I was actually very unsure of how I was feeling about us. I’ve had some time to think about it since then, and when it comes down to it, I just don’t feel like we are the match i’m looking for right now. While there are lots of things that do mesh well and feel comfortable, i feel like part of our interactions feels a bit forced, which doesn’t really line up with the type of relationship i’m looking for. Ultimately, with these thoughts and schedule, I didn’t want to mislead you going forward. I’m sorry if i’ve disappointed you, but I think this is best right now.

I AGONIZED over what to write back.

I got the awesome advice to just not give him the time of day, so finally I went with:

“Cool. See you around then.”

Really though, let’s not see you around.

Later after some thought, I realized that I was duped! The whole situation with Harvard Harvard felt like I was interviewing for a vacant girlfriend position. He had an idea of the right candidate and this whole dating thing has little authenticity. It was just a formal interview process over time and I had gotten to round 4 before receiving a form-like rejection letter for the role…

Really? Yes, really.

Gotta watch out for those guys who sound like they have a script of conversation…

Love,
Anon