Disabled OKCupid Again

Taking a little break. Holidays are upon us and I need a breather!

3 Dates, 1 Outfit.

Decided to save myself from date outfit nightmare by wearing same outfit on every first date (and will do the same on second dates and so on).

Well, I had 3 first dates this week… which means wearing the same outfit 3 times.

Men, for some odd reason, are enamored by black coated jeans. Maybe it’s because they look like leather and leather is “hot?” I don’t know. But a sweater with a sexy shoulder cut out and big ribbon bow on the shoulder in addition to coated black jeans is a great choice. Pair with studded ankle boots and a black beanie, you look like a glam girl straight out of a magazine.

I’ll have to make another good choice for date 2, but will most likely go with a skirt to show off my legs. Of course.

Love,
Anon

I’m a fool.

The new chapter I supposedly felt I ended fairly quickly.

DC came into town in late January and we went out “as friends” and ended the night in a full out make-out session on the dance floor of a crappy drive bar in Brooklyn. Afterwards we had barely any contact until his next visit, about 3 weeks later.

The next time, he stayed over at my apartment.

Bad idea.

Of course, after drinks, and so on, one thing led to another. But what did that culminate in? A whole bunch of nothing afterwards. No talking, no nothing. I’d been duped.

The weekend afterwards was DC’s birthday and I headed down to, actually, DC to attend his big party. What I encountered was a great time – but without him. By the time I arrived around 10:30, he was most definitely drunk. By midnight, he had completely disappeared from his party. Gone. Didn’t see him again, nor seen him since.

I did get a text from him… 2 days later.

Well, the whole time I was torn. I realize that DC was too much of a “boy” vs a “man.”

So what does this mean?

This article – http://justmytype.ca/11-differences-between-dating-a-boy-vs-a-man/ – really cleared some things up. I immediately realized that I had ignored all the terrible signs – the narcissism, the attitude, the immaturity… I was blinded.

I agonized over the situation, but got over it fairly quickly as I focused on someone else, more later.

Failing Friends with Benefits (pre-emptive strike edition)

I’ve decided that of whatever is happening is happening (or not) I’m going to pre-emptively strike by taking away what he thinks he has.

To my friends who ask me why I’m not interested in a long term thing with ECW, it’s because it’d never work. I’d be bitter that he aggressively told me he was into me when he was drunk and told me he never did more because he was afraid that he’d get fired.

Well I quit that last job in May and he had until that August when I started this thing back up to come after me.

I wasn’t worthy.

And I would always resent him for that.

Anyway, to pre-emptive strike, I’m going to remove my interest from him and shut the door for a bit. If he wants back in, he’s going to have to work for it. So no texting, block him from new posts on Facebook, etc. Just give him a sign that this girl is not easy to beat. He’ll be on MY hook.

Failing Friends with Benefits (Part 5)

I’m at it again.

I demanded an apology from ECW.

And I got it.

He wrote to me “hey there” and I just said “Seriously? No.” And he quickly got extremely frustrated with me by telling me I need to chill (seriously dude?).

I told him I was upset because he didn’t respect my time and I NEVER allow other people to make me feel like shit and he somehow managed to do it. All I wanted was an apology and he said he was sorry and that he’d give me one I person.

So we met up for drinks the next night. I went completely overboard. 3 pours of whiskey and 2 whiskey based cocktails.

Let’s say I don’t remember too much after that.

I woke up (alone) in my apartment but everything was intact. Keys on my door hook. Shoes by the door. All my clothing. It’s all there.

Except my memory.

Then we texted the next day (I was really hurting) and I was at dinner when he messaged that he was at a bar we had talked about. While texting, my friends who I was at dinner with…were joking around with me and I texted “My friends at dinner are like “uh… What is going on? Is that a booty call?” Then I wrote “they just yelled at me for texting that.”

He wrote “lol” and “oh god” but I said he should come over in an hour. He, now respecting my time, said that he was with friends and didn’t want me to wait.

So that’s fine. The ball is in his court. If he doesn’t want to talk again, a whatever. If he does, great. I just realize that I need to start looking for my serious relationship and focus on that (and my job!!).

Failing Friends with Benefits (post mini freak-out)

Ok. What am I doing.

Apparently I am meeting up with him tomorrow so he can apologize to me in person.

Don’t ask. This is absolutely idiotic. I’ve never really been one to get really angry, but he totally got under my skin.

More details tomorrow.

Failing Friends with Benefits (mini freak-out)

After 4.5 days of radio silence. Facebook Messages: “Hi there.”

I didn’t want to respond but my weak willpower got me to say:

“Seriously? No.”

Failing Friends with Benefits (Part 4)

So the story doesn’t end. Maybe there will be more installments, but only because I have extremely weak willpower.

As much as I wanted to walk away from the situation, I allowed it to get worse. I got my emotions involved and felt like trash in the end.

He messaged me a few days later and asked why he didn’t have my number (remember, we were on Facebook messages this whole time…) So over 24 hours, I got another old co-worker (yes, the one that was barfed on) to write my number on a post-it and stick it onto his desk without saying a word.

So he started texting me that evening.

I got dressed up to the nines (let’s just say I got a lot of comments on my hot skirt) and went to another happy hour with the old company. He wasn’t there!!

I got a message from him saying he could meet up later that night and it wasn’t until around 10pm that I heard from him again. Essentially I told him I was headed home and he said he needed another hour. Closer to 11, I said if he promised to come over and just watch a movie, I’d allow it, otherwise he should go home. He said he could do that, but why just watch a movie? I responded because that’s how I was feeling.

Then an hour goes by. Nothing. Another hour. Then I go to sleep.

I wake up around 3:30am and see a message from him. Sometime around 1:22am, I see “Sleepy?” from him.

The following convo happened:

1:22am, ECW: Sleepy?
3:28am, me: I am floored you had the nerve to still text me. Give me a good reason why I should even bother to keep talking to you?
3:30am, ECW: I wasn’t trying to offend. It’s been an unusually busy week for me and I haven’t been able to hang on short notice.
3:31am, me: I don’t even know what to say besides that I was honestly at a loss when I saw your text.
3:31am, me: I mean seriously, WTF?
3:33am, ECW: I am sorry : ( It was really not my intention to offend even though I do understand completely why you are.
3:36am, me: You know, I didn’t and don’t have any expectations for whatever the hell we’re doing. It’s been fun, but I don’t like to be treated like an afterthought for any reason. I’m struggling to…
3:47am, ECW: No no, it’s not like that.. Believe me when I tell you it’s been an abnormally busy couple of weeks on my end.
3:48am, me: Auuggghh, I hate texting this kind of stuff I don’t know how to express what I want to say
3:49am, ECW: I know, I am sorry.
3:51am, me: You know what’s worse? All I want is to hear that in person,
3:55am, ECW: Like, right now??
3:57am, me: I don’t know.
3:59am, ECW: Hmm

And that’s how the convo ended. I went to sleep angry. On one hand I wanted him to make a grand gesture and come down to my apartment to plead my forgiveness but that would be a total bitch move, also, he’s not even my grand gesture guy (ie: long term romantic relationship guy).

The next day I was still fuming a bit, but it was fine. I stopped in at the old office to drop off something, but avoided seeing him. When I was told he had left I texted him to see if I could say something to his face, but he was on his way out of the city.

I then said “Sigh. Fine. I… I don’t know… Mad at myself.” Then “Have a nice weekend.” The last thing he wrote was “Why are you mad at yourself?” And I deleted the whole convo.

I just got really upset that I allowed myself to get into a situation where I felt like trash and I started it! I was the one that perpetuated everything.

Anyway, I know I will hear from him again, but it’s a matter of when. It’s up to me whether I’ve closed that door or not. Sadly, if he DID do a grand gesture and apologize to me, I’d probably forgive him, but it’s probably best that I stop.

Just stop now.

“…you will discover…”

“…you will discover that making it legitimate has taken away the “zing” of unconventionality. The two of you lose interest in each other, and the affair dies.”

My astrology horoscope with ECW. (source: http://www.astro.com/; interactive partner chart)

“…you can confidently…”

“…you can confidently expect the unexpected. A relationship can flare up and then die with incredible speed. Indeed, if you are looking for a quiet, reliable, long-term association, this is probably not it.”

My astrology horoscope with ECW. (source: http://www.astro.com/; interactive partner chart)