I’m back and it’s gotten worse.

3 years later, an appearance from Chicago

I used to travel to Chicago quite a bit for work, so occasionally I’d try online dating there. Well, back in July 2014, I went on a date which was actually quite good, but the guy never called me back. Likely because he knew it wouldn’t work as I lived in a different state.

Regardless, today I get a completely unnecessary distraction when I receive this text convo:

The worst part about this was it completely distracted me for an hour or two. The best part is that I found an excel document I made of all the guys I dated in 2014 and it jogged my memory of who the guy was!

So let’s put this to a vote:

Creepy

Or

Sweet?

Maybe I’ll just feel flattered and forget about it. I’m curious about why he would do this, but let’s just hope we leave it here.

Love,

Anon

ECW, again?

It’s been nearly 16 months since I last spoke to ECW, but he likes to appear in my life again from time to time…

Today:

8:34pm: Still ignoring me?

10:15pm: ???9

10:15pm: ????

10:15pm: ???

10:15pm: Why so serious?

Ok creeper, get over it. I’m not talking to you any more.

Ok, Cupid: Glad you’re experimenting. Just not with me please.

Um, Okcupid is a strange place.



Ok, Cupid: Nice young virgin guy

No, I don’t want a nice, young virgin guy…

ECW Briefly Appears

What’s up with all the guys who reappear in my life after long, and happy, blissful time apart?

The day before Thanksgiving, ECW decided to text me.

4:42pm: Hi
5:11pm: Y u ignore me

I ignored you because you obviously didn’t get a clue when I shut the door in your face.

If you throw a dog a bone, they’ll inevitably follow you home.

Please stop bothering me, I’d like to forget you exist.

The Creeper Return of BRG

I hate to pity someone, but I really pity BRG.

Although I cut him off, I’ve been contacted by him, now, on two separate occasions.

The first time, it was a week after I broke it off with him. He was at a bar near my apartment and texted me to say that he was down the street. I’m not sure what his goal was, but I ignored it.

This time was far more creepy. I received a Facebook message form him telling me that he had lost my phone number, and was “fb-stalking” me and asked me how life was.

Why? Why would he even do this!? We went on FOUR dates, over THREE months ago. How strange is it to get stuck on someone to the point that you reach out again.

Strangely, this is not the first time this has happened to me. I don’t know what it is with men and coming back to me. But if I tell you to go away, can you please just go away?

Love, Anon.

Too Much Tongue, Blueberry Gum

I should’ve known immediately that this would not work.

Blonde, Jewish. When we cheers he said “Mazel Tov” and explained it was because he is Jewish.

I’m sorry, but cheers in Hebrew is “L’chaim.”

This says the extremely not Jewish woman.

Anyway, he took me to his “favorite quiet place” in the city and proceeded to jam his tongue down my throat to which his breath? mouth? It just tasted like blueberry gum.

Please. Don’t do this to anyone. EVER.

Needless to say, that was over in a hot second. Did not ever respond to his text but really wanted to say “no thank you, your blueberry gym breath was violating and please just don’t jam your tongue down someone’s throat. Ew.”

That d*mn photo of “Jersey Shore” and me…

Did I ever mention that I found that photo of “Jersey Shore” and me years later?

I attended a macaron making class at the dessert place we went to and lo and behold… on that wall… was the photo. The poor guy and me still stuck on their wall 3 years later.

I would show you the photo, but it’d defeat the purpose of this blog being anonymous.

I asked for a sharpie and wrote “I came here on a blind date and all I got was this photo.”

Sigh. That restaurant doesn’t exist anymore. I hope they tossed those photos.

Love, Anon.

(500) Days of Me and A New Chapter

500 days after first meeting ECW, I decided to end things. Only, I didn’t tell him I was ending things. In reality, I just decided to stop messaging him and responding to him.

Why?

It was time, but really, I met someone else.

I realized I was abusing myself by letting my silly friends with benefits fling go on. It wasn’t benefiting anyone.

Who is this someone else? Well, he isn’t mine. Yet. Well, I’d like that yet to happen. But this man, who I’ll refer to as DC, because that’s where he lives, reminded me that I deserved better. He reminded me what it was like to have someone talk to you and want to talk to you. To want to get to know you and not attempt to get into my pants every moment.

He says good morning and good night and lets me know that he is thinking of me. He remembers what I like and compliments me when he gets a chance.

I can talk to him without having to think too much about what I say because I know he will laugh and enjoy it, even the stupid or the snobby.

He tells me about himself and I listen. I want to know and I am interested.

I regret not letting him know more about how I felt when I met him. I was still a bit hung up over ECW. But I am glad I will get a second chance, but worried it may go completely wrong.

I worry about timing. I met him in another city, where there may have been magic that is now lost. I worry he may meet someone else or may not feel the same anymore. I worry he did not feel the same at all.

I miss him terribly when we don’t talk. I barely know him but I feel like I’ve known him forever.

I think about him all the time, but feel comforted and not insane when we aren’t talking.

I miss him and can’t wait to see him again.