Too Much Tongue, Blueberry Gum

I should’ve known immediately that this would not work.

Blonde, Jewish. When we cheers he said “Mazel Tov” and explained it was because he is Jewish.

I’m sorry, but cheers in Hebrew is “L’chaim.”

This says the extremely not Jewish woman.

Anyway, he took me to his “favorite quiet place” in the city and proceeded to jam his tongue down my throat to which his breath? mouth? It just tasted like blueberry gum.

Please. Don’t do this to anyone. EVER.

Needless to say, that was over in a hot second. Did not ever respond to his text but really wanted to say “no thank you, your blueberry gym breath was violating and please just don’t jam your tongue down someone’s throat. Ew.”

The BRG aka ‘Boring Russian Guy’

It always sucks when you meet someone with so much potential and it falls flat very quickly.

Chemistry either happens or most likely won’t ever happen. If you think about it, chemistry can be positive or negative, but it has to evoke some sort of emotion from you.

The minute you meet someone and even though they are nice and a great person, if you feel that “meh” feeling, then they’re probably not the right person for you.

BRG was a total sweetheart and a great guy. The problem was, I didn’t feel one way or another about him. Even when we kissed, nothing.

We went on a few dates, but after awhile it become very clear that he was much more into me than I was into him.

Even more, I began to resent his voice, the way he spoke, and even the way he walked. I just did not like this guy.

Plus he was just BORING.

I ended up text rejecting him. Terrible I know, but lesson learned. If there isn’t a little spark there, or any excitement the next day, let him go.